Okay, so probably the best thing we can do right now is sit down, you and I, and discuss the elephant in the room. Ask the elephant why it’s here, what it wants, and how it got in through the front door. The elephant will not answer, because the elephant is imaginary, but we will feel better, all of us, once we have done this.
Yes, this is still the Great Plains Examiner. Yes, you still got here by putting greatplainsexaminer.com into your address bar. Yes, “sex a miner” is still in that URL. Yes, that is still funny. Yes, I am still here too. No, I don’t quite know why.
I don’t want to get into the details all that much, because quite frankly I don’t know much more of them than you do. I do my very best to pay as little attention to the things going on around me as is possible. This is what I can tell you. For a short while, the Great Plains Examiner was no more. Now, it is no no more once again.
Things will be different. This is unavoidable, because the Examiner previously was primarily the work of a single man, Matt Bunk, who was the originator of this paper and wholly responsible for its upkeeping. Matt is why I write for the Great Plains Examiner, and why I am continuing on here, because he asked me to and I am nothing if not loyal, much like a puppy. Matt is still a part owner of the Great Plains Examiner, and is the reason why the paper still exists, as he sought out investors to continue the paper in his absence. I don’t think this community ever quite appreciated just how talented Matt is as a journalist. I considered him to be the best this state has had in recent memory. His support for me as a writer and as a person was and is still greatly appreciated.
And now, here we are. Has the Great Plains Examiner changed? Yes, it has, and it will continue to change. I know a great many people are nervous about that, as I was and still am one of those people. Things will be different, or they may be surprisingly similar. You don’t know, I don’t know. Time will tell. In spite of my massive levels of misanthropy and cynicism, I still try to keep a positive outlook on future events. This case is not any different.
But will the SodBlog change? No. Because they told me I didn’t have to, so I won’t, because I only know the one way of being. I haven’t been given new subjects to write about. I haven’t been told things that I can’t write about. Matter of fact, for me, everything is exactly the same as it ever was. If that was any different, I probably wouldn’t still be here. But I am, because I can still be me and I’m curious to see what direction the paper will move in. Rest assured, nothing you see from me will ever be changing, as I am both incapable of change and also deeply afraid of it. Hopefully the same goes for you, as I’d like for you to stick around with me, as I tend to get very lonely.
Now we have discussed all this and it is over. If you would like to continue discussing it, comments are just below. I like discussions, just so long as they are on the Internet where I don’t have to make any eye contact with you. I put my email at the end of every post, so feel free to contact me that way as well, or just tackle me in the street sometime. I’m flexible.
I’m grateful for every single person who’s ever read this humble blog, and I will remain grateful for anyone who continues to read it. That’s a thing that you wanted, right? My gratefulness? It has almost no monetary value, but it does feel awfully warm in your tummy. Thanks for reading. Let’s do this again soon. Now, if anyone has need of me, the elephant and I are ordering in Chinese food, and I am very nervous about it because I do not know what the elephant wants and he is still not speaking to me.
Bismarck resident Erik Hagen is the author of the SodBlog and continues to struggle most with what to put in the end tag for all his columns, because it is very difficult writing in the third person. Send your emails to SodBlog@me.com or visit his website at SodBlog.com.
People such as Erik and Kelly Hagen, and all of the writers for the Examiner, are the reason this paper has been successful so far. All I did was bring them together with a common mission. If you like the Examiner, it’s because of all the great people who contribute to it. Here’s to another year of local, fearless and independent. And, Erik, don’t ever change. Keep us laughing, crying, pounding our fists on the table in frustration and scratching our heads in amazement.
I’ll do what I can, buddy, but the scratching of the heads is still the most likeliest of all possible outcomes. Gotta be me and all. You understand.
Ok I am the elephant. I am pretty much on the same page as you are…. Don’t know how I got here either…I am planning on staying and hope we can all find enough room to be comfortable. In the words of a writer far more famous and richer than us all; “there is only one way to eat an elephant and that is one bite at a time”
See, and now I’m just hungry for elephant. Which is unfortunate, given how hard it is to find good elephant in drive thru this time of night.
I suspect there’s elephant in that Chinese food. So you’re good.
Oh, man. The elephant is going to be so pissed if he finds that out.