Meet the new blog. Same as the old blog.
Okay, so probably the best thing we can do right now is sit down, you and I, and discuss the elephant in the room. Ask the elephant why it’s here, what it wants, and how it got in through the front door. The elephant will not answer, because the elephant is imaginary, but we will […]
Read More →Things to leave behind us in 2012
Welcome to 2013, everybody! That’s right, here we all still are, post-Mayan Apocalypse, and none the worse for wear. It’s a new year, with exciting new possibilities and new chances to finally get things right. But to do that, we’re going to have to shed some dead weight. My apologies to everything and everyone I […]
Read More →Why you should maybe stop being an idiot on Facebook
And now, with your permission, I would like to spend some time today offering a begrudging defense for an idiot on Facebook. If I have your permission to do so, please check this box and then continue reading this column. ☐ You may have, by now, heard of the name Lindsey Stone, and if you’re […]
Read More →Black Friday. So very aptly named.
Okay, so we need to talk about what happened last Friday. There I was, standing out in the cold in the Old Navy parking lot. It was somewhere around eighteen degrees. My left knee was shaking uncontrollably. In front of me in line were about seven people. Behind me were about seventy. Watching us like […]
Read More →Hurricane’s coming, and I’m mad at a video game
If you’re like me, you’re having some difficulties focusing today. Most likely, because of this. I doubt that this lil’ North Dakotan blog reaches all that many people on the east coast, but assuming it does and no one else has already told you to do so, be safe. Maybe get out of there, if […]
Read More →Surprise! Donald Trump still hugely embarrassing!
Once again, dear reader, it is time for us to wade into the waters of the Presidential election, because in two weeks it will be all over with and then what will we talk about? Our feelings? Pfft. Anyway, I wrote a post a while back where I scoffed at the idea of Mitt Romney […]
Read More →The burger made out of pumpkin that you have been clamoring for
So you may have noticed that the Examiner website was down for a few days last week, meaning I didn’t write any blog posts at all for the last week. Did you miss me? I feel like I missed you. But, as you can plainly see, right now in front of you, the website is […]
Read More →Letters to people who probably won’t answer
Dear Rhea Perlman and Danny Devito: I heard the news about you two kids, and I have to tell you that it has really destroyed my entire life. That’s not hyperbole. You two were, by no stretch of the imagination, literally made for one another. Now that you are no longer together, I no longer […]
Read More →What happens when jerks watch the news
The news. Do you ever watch it? I don’t, really, but it must be good, because it seems like they show it two to three times every night. It looks like it’d interesting enough. Anyway, the people that you usually see on the news are typically like everyone else you see on television – visually […]
Read More →Baconageddon is here. Repent! Repent!
As a credentialed member of the news media, it is expected of me to, from time to time, get you all worked up about something that you really have no need to be concerned about. I do this not because I have to, but because it is funny. So, today, I must inform you of […]
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